Something That I Noticed When I Kacau-kacau My Blog

I just noticed. The blogs that I mostly read, is usually privated. @@

Another One...

I just had another dream, right after moving into the new house. In that dream, I dreamt that I was walking along Chinatown. I know its Chinatown because I saw so many Chinese people and all the buildings there are of Chinese style. So, I was walking around and I found myself right outside a jewelery store. Inside was all dark and the only light source was from the owner of the shop. He was finishing up and ready to close. The shutters were shut and he told me to leave the shop via a small door at the back. So I left. I was walking along the street, it was very straight, with no turns anywhere. But for some reason, I was panicking. I didn't know at that time why. I was also walking in a very fast pace, as if I was running away from something. Then, suddenly, the watch around my left hand starting beeping. Beep... beep... beep... beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...

At that time, I panicked like hell. I saw my whole family walking towards me, waving and all, as if they didn't know I was in trouble. I shouted back at them, yelling for them to leave, to stay away from me. I even remembered, I yelled, "I have a bomb stuck to me!!!" And for some reason, Huey Wen was with them too. Shopping I guess, hehe. So I ran away from them and jumped into a very large longkang that appeared out of nowhere. Then I closed my eyes and waited. The blast did not come. Instead, the beeping ceased, and three agents (They look like agents because they had a suit and sunglasses on, like in Men In Black) approached me and took of the suspected watch. Then, they sat me and my whole family down. One of them decided to go and walk around the area, and as he left, for some reason, I had this feeling in my gut, that he was going to die soon.

After that, I woke up. Sure is one heck of a weird dream...

Dreams...

Lately, everytime I sleep, I keep dreaming and when I wake up, I remember them.

There's one dream where I dreamt I was back in Taiping, about to take SPM. And during that duration, I had to sum up the courage to tell mum, "Ah Mi, I skipped Biology test, and I failed Math, and got a 'D' for Chemistry. After I told her that, she slowly turned to me (she was hunched over the dining table doing the accounts for the day like she always does) and when she spoke, it wasn't mum's voice, but rather, the roar of a ferocious lion. That's when I woke up due to the shock of hearing that roar.

Another dream that I had, which was last night, was again me back in Taiping, but this time, in Pokok Assam, Ah Kong's place. however, Ah Kong's house wasn't like it used to be, it looked more like a dilapidated house. I was there with mum again, and we were about to go into the house, when there was a man, somebody from the real estate agency I think, saying that they are going to demolish the house. Mum and I argued with that man, then the man tried to prove his point by kicking one of the house's pillars. A huge part of it came off. Then the man said something and left, I can't remember. Mum and I just looked at the house from outside, and I saw big huge 12 inch nails sticking out of almost every corner of the house. It looked more like a defensive fortress with spikes sticking out to form a defensive shell. That's when I woke up. 

Of course, there are others, but I can't recall them clearly now. My memory I think is starting to deteriorate. And this is not good for a guy like me. I try to recall them after my paper today. 

Winter 2010

I know I know, this post is soooooooooooooo late.. but you know me, I'm lazy =p

and right now, I'm a lil' lazy to elaborate.. so.. I'll just post a few highlight photos from my trip to NYC with Khai Pin and Siva, ok?

This is Biryani Cart, famous for its Indian Food and what nots, we had lunch from this cart twice =)

NYC yellow taxi, not really the usual taxi that we usually see on TV huh?

People skating on a frozen lake in Central Park, many people were still lining up to skate here

Yes, that's me, sitting on snow. Butt was freezing cold after that, but still nice

Lil' squirrel posing for the shot!

Statue front(?) of Rockefeller Building. Don't ask me who he is, I do not know.

Swarovski Crystal. Pretty isn't it?

Panorama view from Rockefeller Building

Another view from Rockefeller Building

Sunsetting...

Empire State Building after dark.

Just a look inside NY subway station =)

Pizza for dinner =D. This crusted pizza, NY's famous!

Madison Square Garden, home of the NY Knicks, as well as the place I watched a live NBA game.

NY Knicks VS Miami Heat!

The Stadium =D

Some shots from the game. Sorry for the bad quality, camera not good enough =p

Empire State. Didn't go up though, too many people.

Times Square. Look at the number of people o_O

Free M&Ms, if you don't mind stealing. Security is loose, very loose, you basically can eat M&Ms for free.

See!! Malaysia Food! It was very authentic and nice I have to say =D

Scene from Brooklyn Bridge

I like this pic =D

The bull of Wall Street saying, "What you looking at?"

The French gave them this, and they so proudly show that they love it!

Grand Central Station. This is the only station that looks nice. Other stations are bleargh~

Well, that's the summary of my winter trip to NYC. They say that a picture says a thousand words right? I have 27 pictures! Which means I've said 27000 words! Wahahaha, so don't say I didn't talk a lot =p

Also, basically, this trip, we ate a lot, walked a lot, seen a lot, and shopped a lot!

NYC - Short Notice

Will talk about my trip soon, editing photos now. Sabar ha!

Also will feature New Years ^_^

Happy New Year!

Update

Haven't blogged in a while. Ah Pa starting to kacau (through Ah Mi, hehe) So here's an update about me for the past roughly two months...

First: New Lappie!

That's right, I got a new laptop. The old one was having problems and after reformatting it and taking it to a shop to get it fixed, it didn't improved. So, I had to say sayonara to the old HP-Compaq and get a new one. And the replacement is...

another HP! Hehe..

This model is :

HP Pavilion 15.6" Intel Core 2 Duo T6600 2.2GHz Laptop (DV6-1334CA) - White

Kinda big really. And I'm using Windows 7 right now, which I think is better than Windows Vista, which I personally prefer over Windows XP. =p

For me, 

Windows 7 > Windows Vista > Windows XP

The comp is working well now, no bugs whatsoever. Me liking this lappie!! and me liking HP!!

Second: Medical Update

Notice the orange bottle? That's the bottle that I have to pee in for the doctors. There's two of them, which means I have to pee into a bottle for two days straight. The white container next to that bottle is my water boiler, which can contain approximately 1.2 liters of water. When the doctor handed this to me, I was wondering how much I would fill this up. Well, I did fill it up, but only to about half. =( Bladder ain't working right I guess. But still, will be going to see the doctor again soon.

Third: Skating!

Yup, I went ice-skating!! This event was organised by the International Student Society, so I went just for the heck of it. And OMG, this is so freaking tough. Fun though, but my legs hurt for a few days, especially around the ankles there >.<

Fourth: Olympic Torch Passing!

That's me and my friends with one of the mascots of the Winter Olympics. Cute huh? The passing of the torch was average, but everything else was electrifying, the atmosphere, the crowd, the performances. Truly an event not to be missed. But the cold temperature with wind made my fingers so cold that my fingers went number for a while. While on the way to McDonald's for dinner, they were stinging a little, a very very bad sign... Anyway, I still have my fingers intact. Got a whole lot of goodies too from the Olympic Torch Passing.

Well, that's all for now. Will try to update more frequently. =D

P.S. I've been drooling a lot when I sleep these days. The effects of Ah Ko and Ah Jie pinching my cheeks seem to be showing now... >.<

True Feelings

I feel weird now. 

I've been trying to write this post for so long. 

But every time I try to write something, 

I'm always stuck. 

In the end, 

I stare at this page for so long, 

Too long. 

I just don't know...

I don't know how I really feel right now

I've never felt like this before

Its hard to describe how I feel

Bored? Disappointed? Hopeless?

No.. not those.

Its something bigger, deeper

But I just don't know what it is.

I just feel...

Lifeless. That's what it is.

I rarely find joy these days.

I used to be able to laugh

Laugh about anything, anytime

Yet, these days...

I feel so fake. 

Sometimes, its real, but its rare.

Rare..

I have a very rare life.

Its rare because I know

I'm very blessed

To have the people that are in my life now

To have the luxuries that others never had

To have the immense love and support

I'm truly blessed

These days, I find little things to look forward to

Very little things make me laugh genuinely

Life for me, was handed on a silver platter

And yet, I find it so hard to live

I feel like life is pushing me

Pushing me to the edge

A little bit more and I might fall

Fall... into nothingness

I always appear fine

I don't want anybody to worry

I try to hide

But my hiding place is not safe anymore

I find no solace in it

I know I have to open up

But after years of hiding

I don't know how

I don't know why I can't

And I'm scared

Scared to lose everything

Everything dear to me

But do not worry, everyone

I'll be fine

I just need to put this in writing

So I can reflect on it

When a similar thing happens.