Merry Christmas~!

Title speaks for itself... XD

Boredom~

Finals over... roommate gone back. One guy, one house, one laptop, how many things can he do? Lol, the euphoria of the end of final exams have worn off, and now, this guy is bored...

BORED!!!

So now, download movies, go tai ka jie's place to work out (tyre getting bigger... xD)

Other than that, hair getting long, dunno whether to cut or not. I like my hair... just a bit messy. Reminds me of Harry Potter, if only I can get a lightning shaped scar on me forehead...xD

Been singing out loud in my HOUSE after so long, not able to do so with that roommate around (paiseh) LOL.

Going Toronto! Whee~ Zupp Zab Zab Zap Zop Ding!

Sorry, a bit hyper right now~

So nowadays, sleep, work out, cook, foodwhore(not camwhore) laptopping... that's pretty much it

An example of foodwhoring:

Spaghetti, with carrot, onion, long beans, tomato, lap cheong and minced pork

Helpless~

Hmmm... I'm having my finals but that's not my biggest concern right now. More importantly is the people around me facing bigger problems that I'm more afraid of.

First, we have May, dealing with her problems with JPA about her major, alone. I can't help as much as I want to, seeing that I never had any real real-life problem solving skills. I'm just sorry that I can't help you in your predicament. But if you need to talk, I'll always be there ok?

Then, I have my sai mui in the fifth floor. I wonder how she's doing, alone up there, with a housemate that she detest so much. Even my roommate is better, which, I wouldn't say is that good. And now she caught a stomach bug, hopefully get better la...

Closer to the heart, I haven't seen someone in a while. Wonder what she's doing, wonder how she's facing the exams. Hopefully no stress, enough sleep, happy.

After that, got someone in taiping. Seems so depressed. Friends all leaving and she's not getting along well with people in uni. Don't feel lonely ok? Still got me, although I'm not there also. Hopefully you get to see your meteor stars and make your three wishes.

Another, also in Malaysia, although I've never seen you, talking to you is a pleasure of mine.

Then, tai ka jie, still ok la I guess, although, she seems to be bottling up a lot. Though outside seems happy, but then... one day scared explode then I won't have the same tai ka jie anymore.

Haiz... but seeing all of them like that. I dunno what I can do. Feel so helpless...

DimSum!

Yes! Today's theme is dimsum! Muahaha, went and eat this morning...

Last photo shows the amount that I had that morning. All mine!!! Muahaha~ btw, restaurant was empty because of the cold weather outside... xD

Chem Test~

Whee... just finished my chemistry test... finish in an hour... dunno whether is it a good or a bad thing. I'm just glad that its over.

Nowadays, my brain is getting weirder and weirder during exams... Previously during linear algebra, my brain sang "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman - Bryan Adams". This time, during Chemistry, it sang "Kenangan Terindah - Samsons". I'm like humming the whole song throughout that one whole hour, and the guy next to me kept looking at me... I'll bet in his head, his thinking, "this guy... damn distracting... how to do my exam le..."

Hmmm... now I still have Psychology and Physics papers left... I'm wondering what song will my brain cook up at that time...

Btw, took a few photos on the way back from Chemistry...

For Those That Wonder

Lol, well, just wanna show, the difference between the start of autumn, and start of winter...
Picture in the top is the tree taken when I first came here, on the bottom, is now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNHzko3q9iU
And for those that wonder what snow fall looks like, here... Sorry for not giving a better quality video, its only a digital camera, what you expect? Hehe...
Ok... time to go back to my Chemistry...

Realization

I realised something, I am moodier than usual, and I can't say that its due to stress from exams. Excuses, I have many, but none are true. These are just the veils for me to hide myself, to keep myself at a distance. And I've been pushing people that matter most to me away. I don't and can't understand why. I'm afraid that I might have pushed them away too far, too much...

And I fear that one day, I'll be left alone. Left... alone...

Nowadays, I picture myself in a desert, with shadows of people walking by. As I reach out, they crumble, into the sand, as if they too, are made of sand, and my heart despair. I long for my happy-go-lucky life, but is it possible? Is it within my reach? Have I lost it to the winds?

For those that I have pushed, or felt like I have pushed them, I'm really sorry. I'm just not myself lately. I'm recollecting my thoughts... no... not really, I'm not. I... just don't know what to do... and thus, I come up with excuses, lots of them, feeble excuses just to try to defend what's left of me, but the more I try to defend, the more I push myself into the abyss...

Wish I was a feather, to be carried by the wind, to lands unknown, where I land doesn't matter...

Weird~

I just finished my first final and it was ok I would say. But the one weird thing is, its a Maths paper (linear algebra) and my head keeps playing this song, "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman" by Bryan Adams. I just don't get it... its a MATHS paper for god's sake and my brain is playing this song? Brain ar brain... play something else can? Sometimes, I just don't get how my brain works, or why it isn't working the way that I want it to be...

Right now, as I'm studying calculus, my brain is so darn quiet, which would be good, except that it ain't absorbing what I'm studying... =.="

Feeling Empty~

Right now, I miss my teddy so much... Feel like jumping on a plane and go back to Malaysia just to give him a tight squeeze. Until now, I've never really thought about how much he has done for me, but looking back, he has tremendously helped me in so many ways, its almost unbearable to part with him. When I first came here, I told myself, it will be fine without him. However, as the days go by, I find myself thinking bout him, and notice, I use 'him' instead of 'it', that's how close I am to him. He is not only a teddy bear to cuddle when you want to, but he is a friend, almost like a small brother to me. He is my buddy, my comfort mate. I just realise that everytime I needed someone to talk to, to listen to my troubles, I don't usually look for a real person... instead, I look for him. Not because he won't blab my worries to others, but because he provides a comfort zone for me, a zone where I'm free, free to express anything and everything. He has this face, cute little face where he always smiles, always telling me that there will be a brighter day tomorrow. Whenever he's around, I feel light, as though nothing in this world actually matters, just because he is there, with me, right by my side. Right now, I can't feel anything, like I'm dead, and he is the only one that can get me out of this state. I miss him so badly now...

For now, I'm trying to stabilise myself, get a hold of myself, until I see him once again. So, I'm excusing myself from this world, I need a break from this world. God, life is tough...

Although I'm excusing myself, if any of you thinks that you need a friend to talk to, you guys can always find me, but I can't gurantee the same usual cheerful self that you guys are more accustomed to. My senses are still with me, just that I'm void of laughter. Just leave a message in MSN.

"Its tough, living in this world, that's why we need our friends... to help us get through each day without sticking a bullet through our head..."

Ugh~

Today ain't a very good day. Nearly chopped one finger off while chopping onions... ouch! Lucky I wasn't in slicing action, otherwise, the wound would be a lot deeper, its like a small knock on the finger, that's all. But still painful... T_T...
Reminds me of the malay prose 'Raja Bersiung'... hopefully I don't turn into him...
But then, I just realised something, just a few moments ago, I chatted with hueywen, my friend in Taiping and she asked whether I updated my blog... and I told her I had nothing to write yet... Hmmm... fishy fishy... (and shuann, not sushi)
But then, I guess I also brought it onto myself la... not paying attention to the mushroom, but instead the mind flew off to some place, thinking about a 6-hour crash course on calculus...
Anyway. hueywen, now I got something to write la! nah!